Lisa: If you wish to be our sitter,
           Please be sweet and never bitter.
           Help us with math and book reports,
     Bart: Might I add - eat my shorts!

     Lisa: Bart!
     Bart: Just cuttin' through the treacle.

     Lisa: If Maggie's fussy, don't avoid her,
     Bart: Let me get away with moider!
     Lisa: Teach us songs and magic tricks,
    Homer: Might I add - no fat chicks!

    Marge: Homer!

     Lisa: The nanny we want is kindly and sage,
    Homer: And one who will work for minimum wage.
     Lisa: Hurry nanny, things are grim,

   Grampa: I'll do it!

Bart+Lisa: Anyone but him.

 Shary: In front of a tavern,
        Flat on his face,
        A boozehound named Barney
        Is pleading his case.

Barney: Buy me a beer,
        Two bucks a glass.
        Come on, help me,
        I'm freezing my ass.

        Buy me brandy,
        A snifter of wine.
        Who am I kidding?
        I'll drink turpentine.

   Moe: Move it, ya drunk,
        Or I'll blast your rear end.
Barney: I found two bucks!
   Moe: Then come in, my friend!

 Shary: And so, let us leave
        On this heartwarming scene.
  Bart: Can I be a boozehound?
 Homer: Not till you're fifteen.

    Shary: If there's a task that must be done,
           Don't turn your tail and run,
           Don't pout, don't sob,
           Just do a half-assed job!

           If... you... cut every corner
           It is really not so bad,
           Everybody does it,
           Even mom and dad.
           If nobody sees it,
           Then nobody gets mad,
     Bart: It's the American way!

    Shary: The policeman on the beat
           Needs some time to rest his feet.
   Wiggum: Fighting crime is not my cup of tea!
    Shary: And the clerk who runs the store
           Can charge a little more
           For meat!
      Apu: For meat!
    Shary: And milk!
      Apu: And milk!
     Both: From 1984!

    Shary: If... you... cut every corner,
           You'll have more time for play,
Shary+OFF: It's the American waaaaay!

     Homer: Around the house, I never lift a finger,
            As a husband and a father, I'm sub-par.
            I'd rather drink a beer
            Than win father of the year,
            I'm happy with things the way they are.

      Lisa: I'm getting used to never getting noticed,
      Bart: I'm stuck here till I can steal a car.
     Marge: The house is still a mess,
            And I'm going bald from stress,
Marge+Kids: But we're happy, just the way we are.

       Ned: They're not perfect,
            But the Lord says "Love thy neighbour."
     Homer: Shut up, Flanders.
       Ned: Okily-dokily-do.
     Shary: Don't think it's sour grapes,
            But you're all a bunch of apes,
            And so I must be leaving you!